June 11, 2010

need, not want

Posted in knitting at 12:39 pm by peachknits

I think some people I know get puzzled when I say “I need to knit.”

I mean, there’s a definite difference between what we need to do, and what we want to do. I want to go bike riding every day, but I don’t need to. I need to breathe oxygen; it’s really not a matter of want (although I want to, too!) With so many daily demands on our lives, we’re often forced to make those distinctions, and draw harsh lines. What we once felt we absolutely needed (an hour alone in the tub, that new skein of yarn) may not be so necessary. It might be because things are tight financially (I, for one, am feeling the pinch) or because we don’t have as much time as we used to.

But back to knitting, and my supposed need for it. Knitting doesn’t pay my bills (although I wish it did) or keep me warm at night (Z does that). So why do I need it?

I’m sorry to say that last week was a rough one for me and Z. Hector was very ill on Sunday night and had to be rushed to the emergency vet, where he learned he had most likely been exposed to a bug poison or other toxin, as he was bleeding profusely from his mouth or nose. However, we weren’t able to get conclusive evidence that this was the cause, so we’re still a bit on edge about it. Two vet visits, two Vitamin K shots and $600 later, and he’s just fine. Poor guy.

This, coupled with a Check Engine light coming on in my car this morning and a vacation to go on next week, and I’m a bit frazzed. What to do with these super-stressed out nerves?

Why, knit, of course.

I found myself today wishing that I were home, a friendly, familiar bamboo needle in each hand, with a cake of laceweight yarn sitting in my lap and a shawl slowly growing from it. I craved that rhythm, that simple heartbeat of loops and tucks, that combination of tension and control and mistakes and craziness and warmth and joy that makes knitting so very special, relatable, human. It made me realize that, no matter how busy, hectic or money-deprived my life becomes, I will always make room in my life for knitting. It’s what keeps me sane in all this craziness. It’s a need, not just a want.


1 Comment »

  1. Rebecca said,

    I’m so glad that Hector is doing well. Also, I think that this was a beautifully written post. Wonderfully worded.

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